PG Hauntedhouse — Mostmortem Reviews

Suitable Antagonist: Horror Hospital (1973)

Dr. Storm employs cackling attendants, brutish motorcycle thugs and stern matrons whose medical credentials seem dubious at best.

Dodgy Business: Over Your Dead Body (2014)

The whole business of fiction and reality gets considerably blurry and it’s hard for a regular Johnnie to know what’s what.

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Transparent Affections: Phantasm III - Lord of the Dead (1994)

The audience is treated to spheres in eyeballs, spheres for eyeballs, brains in spheres and, marvel of marvels, golden spheres.

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Winning Buffoon: Pet Sematary Two (1992)

Sheriff Gus Gilbert is a man whose contemptible severity gives way to slapstick gold the very moment he dies.

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Quiet Down: Malevolent (2018)

Sewing their mouths shut should have silenced the girls to everyone’s satisfaction but the young Mr. Green decided to really cement the whole business by murdering them as well.

Suburban Survivalism: Better Watch Out (2016)

Luke is a complex little chap whose needs cannot be met with boiled sweets and the latest electronic gaming console.

Charming Casualties: Gonjiam - Haunted Asylum (2018)

At times, it makes films with less likable murder victims seem hardly worth the trouble.

Crazy Confidence: The Mad Magician (1954)

One execution is rarely enough to tie things up as neatly as one might like and Don finds his deeply repressed anger suddenly popping out here and there.

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Tryptophantastic: ThanksKilling (2009)

How are we to know what we are most grateful for without first being deprived?

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Marquee Madmen: Alone In The Dark (1982)

When it comes to playing madmen or the people who treat them, Alone In The Dark has a trio that simply cannot be beat.

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Showy Skepticism: Ghost Stories (2017)

Any viewer wondering if mankind is truly more terrifying when compared with a red-eyed wraith or the very devil himself need only consult this handy film.

Assorted Treats: Hack-O-Lantern (1988)

Past the inevitable disappointments, one will find confections dusted with sugar and oozing with nougat.

Elongated Enigma: Slender Man (2018)

The girls decide that any unholy communion that’s good enough for the boys is good enough for them.

Momentous Occasion: Halloween H20 - 20 Years Later (1998)

Laurie Strode has transformed, almost butterfly-like, from a traumatized teenager into a fully functional alcoholic.

New Course: Ghost Ship (2002)

I am met with an unprofessional swell of pleasant associations whenever I glimpse the Dark Castle Entertainment logo.

A Dose of Reality: The Row (2018)

Director Matty Beckerman is able to conjure more verisimilitude than is typically seen in doll-themed collegiate slashers.

Tuneful Revelry: The Horror of Party Beach (1964)

Even with its jaunty name, business at Party Beach is adversely effected by news of mutated, undead gill-men making meals of the locals.

Uncomfortable Kinship: Summer of Fear (1978)

Though I don’t typically give critical notice to the oxymoronic category of “television movies,” it is hard to pass up a collaboration between Wes Craven and Linda Blair.

Dermatological Demons: Transformations (1988)

Transformations is a powerful testament to how sincere devotion and access to a flamethrower can conquer any strain of evil.

Time and Space: A Dark Song (2016)

Like summoning an angel with nothing but chalk and starvation, A Dark Song is impressive in how great an effect it produces with so very little.