Assorted Treats: Hack-O-Lantern (1988)

My dear readers, though I suspect few of you will need my reminding on this matter, I see no reason to neglect mentioning that Halloween is finally upon us. On the morrow, Samhain will tear open the barrier between this world and the next, loosing a torrent of spectral energy upon the earth and reshaping the lands into a terrifying hellscape. Pity be to those who do not adorn their doorstep with the proper tributes, for they will be the first to feel his awful wrath. He will reap countless innocent souls in his annual harvest and the shrieks of youngsters being dragged into the netherworld should echo well into the darkness of winter. It is a jolly time of year, to be sure and perhaps the busiest holiday season for your humble reviewer.

Of course, I am not the only one who ascribes a fair amount of importance to Halloween. It also holds special significance for Tommy (Gregory Scott Cummins), a boy whose was left fatherless one fateful October the 31st by an untimely spot of murder. The task of raising Tommy is largely taken up by his grandfather (Hy Pyke), which is really the decent thing to do. After all, this elder patriarch is a devout worshipper of the devil and his sect’s uncharitable attitude towards unannounced visitors is the very reason Tommy ended up bastard child.

Grandpa sees a lot of potential in the boy, managing to raise him from a naive waif into a black-clad basement-dweller who worries his mother half to death. But there are many temptations laying in wait, even for someone with Tommy’s ungodly grooming and as a spiritually significant Halloween approaches, Grandpa does his best to dispose of any unfit influences that might inhibit his grandson’s growth. Quite coincidentally, right around the same time, a devil-masked assassin carves their way through various characters in Tommy’s life, laying waist to his romantic partners, assault victims and insignificant associates.

Tommy demonstrates both demonic and musical potential

As the title earnestly announces, Hack-O-Lantern is very much a part of the slasher sub-genre. But instead of the simple nudity and butchery that makes up many a similar film, this particular bloodbath also features a stand-up comedy performance, a music video, snake dancing, a strip tease and other assorted entertainments. While Hack-O-Lantern focuses primarily on adult celebrations of this spectral season, the movie itself is obviously based in tricking and treating, its various offerings perfectly replicating the sensation of rifling through a haphazard assortment of sweets.

Like any such Halloween haul, the results are mixed and in among the candied cigarettes and anise taffy, one will inevitably find an apple without a trace of caramel or even a tube of toothpaste and a stern reminder not to forgo dental hygiene altogether. But past these inevitable disappointments, there are confections dusted with sugar and oozing with nougat. The excitement of rooting through to these coveted gems makes the presence of any less desirable items seem of little consequence.

Hack-O-Lantern runs 87 minutes and is rated R.