My dear readers, I cannot say for certain if it is the lengthening days or the promise of summer’s approach but a number of folks in my orbit seem awfully optimistic about the future as of late. One such individual is my cousin Edwin Hauntedhouse, who has been absolutely buoyant since meeting a fetching young woman that he hopes to make his bride. For this reason, he contacted me and asked if I would send his grandmother’s necklace, an item that had been entrusted to me for safekeeping during Edwin‘s somewhat reckless youth. The piece was rather handsome and he imagined it would make a serious impression on a lady of considerable refinement. Unfortunately, it had been a busy week for parcels and I accidentally swapped the address with a professor of antiquities, who had asked after an amulet in my possession. The amulet had belonged to a notorious priestess of Yuniyantat the Execrated and, not being particularly familiar with jewelry, Edwin presented it to his beloved. Nevertheless, the letters I have since received from him suggest that she was still quite taken with the gift, though she has apparently taken to reciting profane verse at suppertime and is levitating a fair bit more than she had previously. I expect they may set a nuptial date sometime in the near future.

Professor Roy Curien (Sid Haig) also knows a thing or two about helping a family member in need. He is attempting to learn all he can about an emerging strain of zombie virus in order to aid his son, who fell victim to the contagion during the events of the previous film. Using his facilities at Cuesta Verde University, he conducts a variety of experiments on an undead specimen he has managed to procure. Unfortunately, things get a little out of hand and Curien unwittingly becomes part of the experiment himself. After being nibbled on by a test subject, he becomes infected with this novel pathogen and his travels about the campus spread it to a remarkable degree. 

The authorities decide it best to call upon Lieutenant Jake Ellis (Ed Quinn) and Doctor Alexandra "Nightingale" Morgan (Emmanuelle Vaugier), a pair of professional zombie exterminators. They determine that the best approach for managing this particular infection would be to find the earliest progenitor of the infection, or “patient zero” as the medical chaps prefer to call it. Together, they lead a healthy mixture of military characters through the heart of academia in their attempts to locate the first infected subject. And important though their mission may be for understanding this new breed of undead persons, Jake and Alexandra have been given a fairly strict deadline -- the authorities have decided to barrage the campus with ballistics at the stroke of midnight, regardless of whether the team has succeeded or, for that matter, departed to a safe distance.

Though it is difficult to imagine anyone but Uwe Boll helming an entry in the series that he began with such gusto, director Michael Hurst is apparently a brave sort of soul, one unafraid of taking over a franchise that still bears the mark of a distinctive artistic presence. After the original House of the Dead deliberately deprived viewers of their base expectations, it is hard to conceive of what could possibly follow. But Mr. Hurst manages the unlikely feat of doing something equally audacious -- giving conventional audiences what they might expect. Though I am afraid I only have a passing familiarity with the arcade entertainment upon which this franchise is based, my understanding is that its primary focus are firearms and undead opponents. These two components are celebrated most thoroughly in House of the Dead 2, and while this faithful treatment may seem innocuous to some viewers, it is no doubt anathema in the eyes of cinephiles devoted to Boll’s original vision. Risking the alienation of this powerful group is proof that Mr. Hurst and his merry band of collaborators is up to the task of maintaining the subversive tone for which this series is known.

House of the Dead 2 runs 95 minutes and is rated R for strong zombie violence/gore, language, nudity and brief sexuality.