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Compact Creatures: Ghoulies (1984)

My dear readers, while I must admit it is nice to occupy a property with some breadth, one must be ceaselessly vigilant when it comes to little tasks that spring up here and there. Gardening can be something of a chore, to provide one example. We also have met with all manner of pests scurrying about the west wing and the stairwell in the south wing is badly in need mending. What’s more, there seems to be an entirely separate wing that has sprung up between the two and despite having spent half my life on these grounds, I cannot recall having seen this part of the house before. And yet when I wander this section, I often chance across a misplaced pen or a lost cuff link that I have been searching for most intently, evidence that I must have stepped foot in these halls at some previous point. It is a nuisance, really, as there are already plenty of rooms to clean and care for without any extras popping up unannounced. I certainly cannot imagine inhabiting anything but my own ancestral property and the place really does allow one to stretch their legs but nevertheless, there are obstacles that owners of a more modest home might never encounter.

Peter Liapis demonstrates how on-screen acting is all about the eyes

Jonathan Graves (Peter Liapis) is deeply familiar with the difficulties that arise from having an expansive estate. He has inherited quite the piece of property from his late father, and decides to temporarily suspend his collegiate studies in favor of whipping the place into shape. Jonathan gets off to a rather good start, polishing the old brass and sweeping away the cobwebs and all that. But soon he is distracted by the contents of the basement -- a hastily abandoned trove of thaumaturgic literature. Ritual magic is truly at its best when shared with the ones you love, and so Jonathan hosts a party that allows his closest friends to participate in a genuine summoning. While his first attempts at sorcery are not everything he had hoped for, enough of a rift between worlds is formed to accommodate the ghoulies, diminutive little goblins who are obedient to the one who called them.

The ghoulies, as it turns out, are not much for conversation. And so Jonathan also summons Grizzel (Peter Risch) and Greedigut (Tamara De Treaux), two little people who, though similar to the ghoulies in stature, are capable of both speech and granting their master the awesome powers he seeks. This proves to be a much more productive union, and before you know it, he seems a real master of the wizardly business. And yet despite being an able student, Jonathan is a bit of a rube, having never questioned why his father Malcom (Michael Des Barres) bequeathed him such a property or why he left his most important occult papers just sort of scattered about the place. Father, it seems, has hatched a scheme to return from the grave, rob Jonathan of his youth and wreak all manner of evil havoc, presumably with several varieties of compact creatures at his side.

Ghoulies are full of mischief but low in nutritional value

I image anyone fortunate enough to have seen the 1980s in person will recall the absolute deluge of critters, hobgoblins, munchies and other such things that followed the financial success of Gremlins (1984). No doubt many filmmakers from that time found themselves helming projects about wee little beasties as a mere response to Joe Dante’s prosperity. But for producer Charles Band, Ghoulies was the beginning of a life-long love affair with tiny terrors, a career that has already spanned four decades. After this initial association with small-sized antagonists, Band would attach his name to a Ghoulies sequel, ten Puppet Master films, seven Evil Bong films, three Demonic Toys films and three Gingerdead Man films. But in spite of those staggering numbers, Charles Band is hardly in the business of horror puppeteering for mere monetary gain. Aside from his franchise efforts, the man has contributed a number of smaller, more personal doll films, such as Blood Dolls (1999) Doll Graveyard (2005) and DevilDolls (2012). And who could forget Ooga Booga (2013), a sensitive piece of social commentary in which an animated African bushman figurine demonstrates onanistic tendencies while smoking large marijuana cigarettes? Were it not for the ghoulies, that original rambunctious pack of magical n’er-do-wells, the viewing public never might have seen such heights of glory.

Ghoulies runs 81 minutes and is rated PG-13.