My dear readers, though various slapstick comedies would have you believe that a solid knock on the noggin is the height of hilarity, I cannot help but feel that blunt force trauma is not a fit subject for tittering. My great aunt Mildred Hauntedhouse was considered quite a wit in her day until a disagreement with her steed led to an awful crack on her skull. The internal effects did not take long to manifest themselves. In addition to a notable reduction in quips and her giddy insistence that every Thursday was “Parade Day,” the poor dear’s vision suffered and was effectively split in two. Apparently Mildred was not particularly fond of her husband before the accident and the of sight a pair of him padding around the house did little to soften her opinion of the man. I understand the strain led her to dispose of their company entirely.

Patrick Highsmith (George Newbern) also knows a thing or two about seeing double. He is an artist’s artist, a screenwriter whose monkish devotion to his craft is all-consuming. He spends his days heeding no call but those of the Muses and has little time for pedestrian concerns like sleeping, tidying up and turning a profit. Sadly, Patrick’s landlord is a materialistic type whose uncharitable attitude forces him to find a flatmate. His meager domestic offerings are not the type to lure hordes of prospective tenants and so he is pleasantly surprised when Holly Gooding (Drew Barrymore) comes calling. Though Holly is a posh type on the surface, she has surprisingly little to say about Patrick’s austere accommodations and the two quickly agree to share living quarters.

Besides being rather comely and agreeable, Holly also enjoys cooking and cleaning, a seemingly perfect domestic counterpart for a distracted and slovenly specimen like Patrick. The two manage to move past plutonic cohabitation with relative ease but their blossoming affections are hindered by Holly’s insistence that a murderous and promiscuous doppelgänger has followed her from New York City. Many a man might be put off by such a daring claim but Patrick is no ordinary fellow. Armed with a writer’s imagination and a desire to continue exploring his emerging relationship with an attractive and financially independent homemaker, he does his best to help Holly sort out the mystery behind her deadly duplicate.

As many can attest, new romance can present any number of pitfalls and obstacles and among them, there is of course the difficult question of when two people who fancy each other should progress towards a more crude state of physical expression. Some viewers will undoubtedly see Doppelganger as a film with inconsistent views on the matter since it makes room for both panicked conservatism and nuns who work as telephone sex operators. Yet despite a few mixed signals, the essential message this film presents to would-be lovers is simple -- there is nothing to worry about as long as you are with the right person. One must be frightfully vigilant, as sometimes the wrong person may look and sound exactly like the right one, possibly even responding to the same name when pressed. And it’s really best to be absolutely positive about these things as the wrong person could easily be a bloodthirsty creature whose true form defies description. But as long as you’re sure, there’s really no harm in a little lovemaking here and there.

Doppelganger runs 104 minutes and is rated R for strong violence, and for sexuality and language.